Universal Studios is actually where you can find some really incredible experiences, and I'm not talking about memories of spending quality time with friends and loved ones. No no no. God no. I could see how you could think that, but no. I'm talking about the designed, prepackaged experiences contained inside their "movie rides."
The Spider-Man ride is the star of the show, combining movement and the illusion thereof in perfect concert with the ride's ridiculous narrative. It does a really incredible job of dropping you in the middle of an unreal action sequence, better than anything else in the world as far as I know. No small accomplishment.
After that, of course, the rest of the park is a bit less impressive. The Jaws Ride:
The Jaws ride is a painstakingly constructed recreation of what would happen if the titular shark put himself at a huge disadvantage by only invading tightly enclosed spaces and consequently got offed in three minutes by a theme park employee. It's actually pretty cool, and the live actor running the ride serves a critical role in directing the experience; for most of the ride, she (we had a female actress, anyway) directs and misdirects the audience's attention by pointing her rifle in the direction she ostensibly thinks the shark will be coming from, and in one dark environment she does the same thing with a flashlight. It keeps the audience's eyes pointing in the best possible direction, complimenting the environment design.
The Jurassic Park ride wasn't as impressive, but it did play host to my finest moment of the afternoon. Because it was raining and JP was a water-based ride, I chose to strap on a pair of goggles I had recently purchased.
As a result, when the animatronic spitting dinosaur spat ordinary water in my face, I was completely protected. It's like I always, always say: I'm smarter than Wayne Knight.
Anyway, other highlights:
Americana! Every possible detail is absolutely perfect! Except for the "Coney Island" hot dogs, apparently. I didn't try one, but the other members of my team said they were awful. I don't know what mishmash of animals they grind up for the meat. Possibly tanuki, which means you're gettin' a pretty good percentage of testicle in there. Like, double digits.
I pointed out that there were four males and four females in our group, which no one else had apparently noticed, so we were able to buy four "Love Passes." We were obligated to hug each other before we got the passes, and thus bound eternally by the Red String of Fate.
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